IRC Section 125 rules should be changed for family caregivers.
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You're right, family dynamics are changing. The IRS still hasn’t updated the Section 125 rules for grandparents. To use pre-tax money for your grandkids, you must have legal custody or pay more than half of their costs. This way, they count as your tax dependents.
The current laws don't meet the needs of families, so pay attention to new rules that assist caregivers. In the meantime, touch base with your HR department to see if your plan can be tweaked. If not, just stick to the current rules to avoid any extra tax costs. Taking care of your family shouldn’t be this hard.